die Schultüte f school cone [cardboard cone filled with treats or small presents]
You know that point in July where television stations start advertising school supplies and all the newspapers are bursting with bright primary-coloured flyers promising back-to-school sales? As a kid, it feels like you're barely out of school and already everybody's revving up to put you back in. Well, here in Germany, they have taken the spoonful-of-sugar philosophy to heart. So alongside window displays with cartoon-scrawled backpacks and virgin sets of coloured pencils, there are rows of the raw materials for making Schultüte.
At first glance, the huge stacks of bristol board cones to be found among the school supplies make it seem like the Germans, as part of their commitment to preserving traditional culture and all things old-timey (and postcard-perfect), are preparing to stock up on dunce caps for the school season. Worry not, Charlie Brown. Instead, these caps are going to be tipped upside down like an ice cream cone and lovingly filled with pencils, notebooks, and a whole lot of candy, dolled up with ribbons, bows and scrapbooking accessories and doled out by parents on the very first day of primary school. Sorry, that means you're out of luck, Grade Twos.
To me, this seems like a pretty sweet deal. There is nothing I would have love more on my first day of school than Gobstoppers and Popeye Sticks. Instead, I distinctly remember rice pudding and raisins. On the other hand, I'm sure teachers of Grade One must require some special training day to learn how to deal with kids suffering not only from the emotional strain of being forced to learn the alphabet but also experiencing some major sugar fallout. Luckily, school in Germany only lasts 4 hours - from 9AM to 1PM - so at least teachers get the satisfaction of handing back still-twitching six-year-olds to their parents before the sugar rush has completely worn off.
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