Saturday, August 18, 2012

Word Up: Asi


One of my coworkers has suddenly taken to referring to all and sundry as "asi."  Eating cake off of paper towels? Asi.  Undercuts? Asi.  Not saying thank you in triplicate?  Very asi.  Where did she pick it up?  And why now?  Time to pull out the dictionary.

But is there a clear answer?  According to the internet, being "asi" is basically being trashy, with a big helping of just general impolite.  One of the clarifications that comes up on Google is a "Hartz IV-Empfänger" or "Hartz-4ler", a word that I was totally at a loss for, but which gives you a sense of how important deep familiarity with the law is to all Germans, not to mention a willingness to enforce it.  Hartz IV is the part of the law created by the Hartz Commission that ensures unemployed Germans have money to pay for their bus passes and soccer team jerseys and annoying children with mohawks.  I'm sure most Germans could give you a bio of Hartz, too, without looking at Wikipedia, but I'm not that much of a local yet.


Monday, August 13, 2012

Word Up: Best-Ager


Dear Germans,

Just because you string two English words together does not mean you have made an English word or that this word is used in the English language.  Case in point: Best-Ager.  This is not English.  The word you are looking for is "senior."  Or, if you are feeling really cute, "Golden Oldie."  But not Best-Ager.  You may have it sweet here in Germany with your solid pensions, your great health care, and your thirty-days-vacation, but for many English speakers, "best" is either optimistic or just delusional.

Sincerely,
Me

P.S. English doesn't usually have hyphenated compound words.  That's totally your thing.

image via acteam.de

Monday, August 6, 2012

Olympia


It's that time of once-every-four-years again!  Olympics time!  Compared to the way we celebrated the month leading up to the Euro Cup in May, the Olympics is a pretty big let down here in Germany. In May, there were people thronging the streets in the jerseys as the rival European nations battled it out on the soccer field.  In the last two weeks, I haven't seen so much as a red, gold and black sweatshirt.

Maybe that's because Germany hasn't lived up to its potential this Olympic Games.  There has been no bigger let down for the Germans, according to the smug ex-handball stars that pass for television commentators in this day and age, than the national swim team.  Apparently Germans consider themselves to be very good at swimming.  I'm afraid that the rest of us would have to admit we've been more struck by the Phelpses and Lochtes of this world than the Biedermanns and Steffens, but for Germany, the hopes of a nation rested on this year's swim team.  And on the fencing team.  And on the judo team.  And don't forget the noble sport of ping pong.

But only the swim team failed to deliver.  Now, for a country like Canada, a less than stellar showing would be cause for a few halfhearted smiles and a long talk about the power of the Olympic spirit.  German sports commentators take a very different approach.  No montages of Olympic disappointments or downed athletes being comforted by their teammates for this television station, only could hard truth.  Nobody bore the brunt of this more than the swim team.  As the days went by without medals, and without even qualifying to be in the finals, the comments turned uglier and uglier.  Why is she smiling? they asked as an Olympic hopeful put on a brave face after failing to beat the best.  He should not be content just to sit by and watch! That I cannot understand! they blustered after another young German star, dripping wet and out of breath from sprinting underwater alongside the world's best Olympian ever, dejectedly claimed he was looking forward to cheering on his teammates in the next round - a round in which he would not be swimming.

Each day the German team poolside looked sadder and sadder.  Finally there was no more cheering, no more waving, no more smiling at the camera.  The faces of losers, intoned the commentator, showing a snap of a demoralized swimming team  checking their Facebook from their phones poolside, what went wrong? When the German swim coach came on with his tail between his legs and claimed that the swimmers were not conditioning hard enough and that they had gained bad habits early in their careers that no amount of training could break, it was all I could do to keep the television on.  Thank goodness I persevered, because I would have hated to miss seeing Michael Phelps breeze to gold for the umpteenth time.

But it's time to lighten up and think about what it means to be an Olympian.  These are the best of the best.  Each Olympic sport should have an extra lane for a normal fit person competitor, maybe a gym bunny or that friend of yours who has way too many photos of himself in a tank top, to run or swim or jump through hurdles in the middle of puddles alongside the Olympic athletes.  As he or she thrashed and stumbled along a half hour behind the athletes, those watching would realize once and for all how amazingly honed the skills of Olympians are.  I would like to volunteer the German sports commentators as the first normal fit people to hit the locker rooms and kickstart this new program, handball heroes or otherwise.